Overcome Shyness By Understanding What It Is
Shyness is fear at its core. You’re afraid of people’s eyes on you, of being judged, of embarrassing yourself, of making a mistake in front of everyone, of not saying the right thing. The way you feel before talking in front of a group of people is probably similar to what most people feel before jumping out of a plane.
Fear is what you feel when there’s danger in your environment. It’s like an “alarm system” that helps you react quickly to threats. That’s why scientists often call fear the “fight or flight response” — it helps you to fight a danger or run away from it.[1] And usually fear or anxiety is a good thing.
Imagine if a caveman saw a big tiger and he didn’t feel fear? The tiger would eat him. But if the caveman saw the tiger and instantly felt fear, then he would know to quickly hide or run into a cave to get away from the tiger.
USUALLY Fear Helps You Survive…
But sometimes this “alarm system” in your brain gets programmed in the wrong way. This can happen through your genetics, through childhood experiences, or both.[2]
When this happens, your “fight or flight response” is activated even when there isn’t any real danger. This is why you automatically start to feel nervous, awkward and tense in normal everyday social situations. It’s why you automatically become quieter and talk less around people you don’t know well compared to your 1-2 closest friends.
Overcome Shyness by Re-programming Your Brain
So the bad news is that your brain has been accidentally “programmed” to feel shyness. Just like a computer is programmed to work a certain way.
This means no amount of trying to THINK or talk your way out of shyness will work. See, your “fight or flight response” doesn’t understand psychology or self help books. It doesn’t understand when you repeat to yourself “what’s the worst that can happen?”
And even though you’re smart enough to know “there’s nothing to be afraid of” like other people probably tell you, you still feel this way anyway. No, shyness is not “all in your head,” it’s programmed DEEP into the fear part of your brain, into your biological survival instincts.
Now, stick with me because there is some BIG good news…